The Real Adventures of Indiana Jones

A true story you might be interested in.

Our Dear Dr Jones

As an avid Indiana Jones lover, I wasn't really willing to say that I "loved" the new film. I could barely eek out a "like."I could, however say that I enjoyed it. 

The more I thought about it, thought, the more I did like it. Like the old films, the fight sequences were exuberant, the chase scenes long and mind-bending, and the ending, as always, over the top. 

And more importantly, the movie was about Indy, not just his adventures. Indy's getting older. His father and Marcus have both died, and he's lost his job (don't worry - its nowhere near a big spoiler). He's lonely.

It's fun to see him take on some of the calmer character traits of his father, while still holding onto the fire and tenacity we love about him. His actions, while still lightning fast, tend to be more often thought through. But not entirely, of course. He's still Indy.

Shia is great as a 50's greaser, who gets thrown out of his surroundings, but still shows the same guts and quick thinking on his feet as a young Indy did.

(Don't click on the links if you don't want to know) A new time period brings on new styles and new myths, both in the public and the archeological realm. There have been speculations about Crystal skulls and the Mayans for decades. There is even an religion called Mayanism related to the theories in this movie. I do recall a Johnny Quest episode that dealt with similar ideas, but dealing with the Anasazi instead of the Mayans. A book by Louis L'Amour that deals with these concepts a different way, also involving the Anasazi. It makes sense that Indy would run into experiences like this. And he is skeptical the entire time. "I've heard this bedtime story before." Almost an exact quote from The Last Crusade.

Most importantly. This is what we have, and all we have. Indy fans have been very lucky. Books, TV shows, rides, live shows and four feature films. But these four are the only ones with our Classic Indy; the one we love MOST. As a fan of the short lived Firefly, I've gotten used to cherishing every moment of the single season we were given. Every minute - funny, heart rending and cheesy. 

It's the same way with Indy.

Bee Update

Now their little carcasses are strewn over the driveway (we hosed them off our balcony). About two dozen bees came back from their mission and were so confused, they kept landing on the same spot, as if they thought all the other bees were just out for a few minutes. 

So, viciously, we hung some fly paper and sat back and watched them land on it. The little bit of Buddhist in me cringed, while the cruel little child in me giggled with glee.

Killer Bees Attack

Yesterday we were attacked by bees. Our house that is. I came downstairs to talk to Grant, who was calmly sitting on the couch checking his email. A large dark moving mass outside caught my eye. I recoiled in horror and made a slight choking noise. Grant looked up and said, what's wrong, follows my line of vision and exclaimed, "Oh my gosh! I didn't even notice that!" A large group of bees had decided that our sliding glass door was the perfect place to start a new hive.

According to Wikipedia:

Swarming is the natural means of reproduction of honey bee colonies (considering the

colony as the organism rather than individual bees which cannot survive alone), including the domesticated Western honey bee. In the process two or more colonies are created in place of the original single colony. 

New honey bee colonies are formed when queen bees leave the colony with a large group of worker bees, a process called swarming. The first or prime swarm generally goes with the old queen. As soon as the swarm is established as a new colony, the bees raise a new queen, or sometimes a replacement virgin queen is already present in the swarm. Afterswarms are usually smaller and are accompanied by one or more virgin queens. Sometimes a beehivewill swarm in succession until it is almost totally depleted of workers.

Swarming is mainly a spring phenomenon, usually within a two or three week period, the usual period depending on the locale. But occasional swarms can happen throughout the producing season.

I felt very torn about what to do about it. They had apparently come in the early morning and hadn't had time to start building their nest. We debated calling the landlord, or pest control, or even a beekeeper if we could find one. However, being a holiday weekend, we doubted we could get anyone to come before tuesday. Unable to bear the thought of them possibly squeezing their way into the house, we finally decided to go out and get some wasp and hornet killer. We thought about getting a trap, but none of the ones at Lowe's could catch anywhere near the amount of bees we had. Our guestimatation of the number is in the 300-500 bee range. 

After bundling up in a waterproof windbreaker with hood, Grant bravely got out a ladder and squirted down the bees - first with bug spray, then with the hose. A few bees (the forensics team, as I called them) bravely tried to come back to the same spot to reconstruct the crime, but, after we come back home after being out for a few hours, they had given up. Grant straightaway sprayed away all the wreckage. Now the bees' crumpled corpses litter the driveway under our balcony.

I PAINT ALMOST STRAIGHT LINES

Everyone wants straight lines, but straight lines are hard to come by in my little paint world. Lining sticks tend to goop up, as well as rulers. We do apply the 15 foot rule, so most of the time my lines tend to straighten out. Following snapped chalk lines helps, but does not solve the problem entirely.

Straight lines are an almost purely man-made device. Only humans seek to put everything in a perfectly straight line. Nature seems to feel that pretty straight or almost straight is darn close enough! Trees don't grow perfectly straight, the curve of the horizon even curves!

Understandably, designers desire to emulate human life, so the straight line is a necessity. But my current designer has to be special! He must have straight lines on a curvy "tassle." Yes I am painting something smooth and semi-shiny to look like a massive tassle that will hang 25 feet in the air. And these straight curvy lines crisscross over this lovely curved surface. They also must all have highlights and shadows, so these are multiple straight parallel lines running diagonally across a curved surface. Anyone care to try. Oh yeah - you only have about 2 hours to do it! GO!

Remember the time when sue isn't good at pretty? She can do old, she can do ugly, she can do distressed, she can do weathered. Pretty really isn't her thing. 

And neither are straight lines.

An Observation

I realized today that the theatre is a world full of butt cracks. Scarcely a day goes by where I do not spot a crack. The larger question is, are theatre peoples' torsos longer than other peoples', or are they more inclined to wear shorter shirts? 

Because of the necessity of picking up flats, painting items on the floor, searching low shelves, etc., one cannot help but bend over. And if others, like yours truly, are so lucky they will sneak a peek at your crack!

At this point I would like to state that my ass crack does NOT hand about in the public sector. I barely allow its presence in the private one. I cannot be the only person conscious of the ghastly draft that pervades my crack when it even slightly slips out to gape at the light, and cannot help but scramble frantically to avoid blinding co-workers with my very caucasian ass. A tucked in wife-beater takes care of this problem easily.

My co-workers have choosen not to return the favor. I am not just referring to the tip of the nether iceberg. A full two to three inches have been spotted in my region, just today. One was scrawny, but rather hairy, the other was bluish white and on the more rotund side. And with theses sitings came several inches of back skin as well.

Obviously this is a very sensitive issue, and must be approached delicately. Until we can fully unite and learn how to assist every single one of these fabric starved theatre workers, smaller individual aids like Crack Spackle have been produced for these purposes. Pick one up today and help your local theatre craftsmen!

New Blog

I've moved my blog to here - to much hassle to upload my website every time I want to blog.