An Observation

I realized today that the theatre is a world full of butt cracks. Scarcely a day goes by where I do not spot a crack. The larger question is, are theatre peoples' torsos longer than other peoples', or are they more inclined to wear shorter shirts? 

Because of the necessity of picking up flats, painting items on the floor, searching low shelves, etc., one cannot help but bend over. And if others, like yours truly, are so lucky they will sneak a peek at your crack!

At this point I would like to state that my ass crack does NOT hand about in the public sector. I barely allow its presence in the private one. I cannot be the only person conscious of the ghastly draft that pervades my crack when it even slightly slips out to gape at the light, and cannot help but scramble frantically to avoid blinding co-workers with my very caucasian ass. A tucked in wife-beater takes care of this problem easily.

My co-workers have choosen not to return the favor. I am not just referring to the tip of the nether iceberg. A full two to three inches have been spotted in my region, just today. One was scrawny, but rather hairy, the other was bluish white and on the more rotund side. And with theses sitings came several inches of back skin as well.

Obviously this is a very sensitive issue, and must be approached delicately. Until we can fully unite and learn how to assist every single one of these fabric starved theatre workers, smaller individual aids like Crack Spackle have been produced for these purposes. Pick one up today and help your local theatre craftsmen!